Thursday, December 18, 2008

Rab ne banayi jodi

Back from watching Rab ne. As has become the norm in all Sharukh movies there were a lot of love lectures. So as per the movie let us define love
To Panni the female lead, love happens when :-
1) u are married to a man as old and perishable as the gobi manchurian u bought last week; that after you being the hottest chick in all of punjab, harayana, himachal combined
2)ur man fantasizes dancing with u in a church with 233 sardar kids holding candles to u.
3)ur hubby shows no signs of biological curiosity after being married for what seems like a decades.
4)hubby dearest has a friend Sunny who is strongly suspected to be gay.
5)u still dont flee with the next best option in town - An eve teasing, soppy movie dialogue spouting, colourfully dressed jat

To Suri (SRK) love happens when :-
1) wifey shows up on party and saves ur izzat.
2)wifey knows u suck but doesn't say so.
3)its ok to use the facilities of Punjab Power to proclaim ur love.
4)its ok to tempt wifey into adultery by being a miserable mouse in one avtar and a mindboggling moron in avtar2
truly rab ne banayi jodi..this love story made my eyes go moist

Monday, December 3, 2007

Lisa Nowak and Astro Diapers

Read this article a long time back and had meant to blog on it.Found time only now.

So this American astronaut drove nearly 900 miles to pepper spray the girlfriend of her former love interest.Weren't astronauts supposed to be bright?At least Jeanie in 'I Dream of Jeanie' used to think so.I am beginning to think otherwise.Did she really have to drive? Couldn't she have just flown down?Or why the need for a physical presence when she could have just called up, if all she wanted to do was to just give her a little scare.It worries me that these specimen are the brightest that human kind could offer after so many years of evolution

Another interesting point is that she she wore special NASA diapers for the journey.I was a bit surprised to know that NASA actually made such things.I wonder what these NASA diapers are like? Can these astros fly back and forth to the moon without a nappy change?More importantly, was Neil Armstrong wearing a diaper when he landed on the moon?It kind of makes the whole landing on the moon stuff so off putting.Kind of like coming to know that your stern looking manager wears floral underwear.(The manager being male of course)

I hear that the Chinese are planning to land one of their own on the moon.I bet there is a Chinese astronaut praying somewhere that unlike most goods Chinese this diaper does actually undergo a quality control test.

Saturday, October 27, 2007

My World This Week

The last few days have been pretty eventful and heavy on the wallet. Last Thursday the silencer of my bike broke off from my bike somewhere on the route between the office and my home. That I realized it only much later, speaks volumes of my observation skills. Now your silencer breaking off does not disfigure your bike too much and it adds a very masculine vroom when you raise the throttle. However I thought it would be prudent to get it replaced soon. Unfortunately bajaj does not think that a silencer falling off is a common occurrence and I had to wait until the next Monday for the spares to come.

I had a treat to attend on Sunday evening. This place is called Rainforest. It is designed to resemble a rainforest. You are served on tables placed in cave like structures with a few fake animals surrounding them. There is even a very bored dude dressed like a chimp to keep the kids entertained. There is practically no lighting and the place is very cramped so you got to be careful that crumbs from your meal don’t fall into your neighbor’s plate. Picture the chicken lollipop from your plate landing into the curd rice of your neighboring Tam Brahmin’s plate and the resounding slap it would invite.

Well treat done, and its time to make a move and I discover that my helmet is missing. We hunted for half an hour with no success. I didn’t want to give up and finally my friends had to drag me out. You become kind of attached to your helmet when it costs 800 bucks.

The worst was yet to come. My bike broke down while returning home and I was stranded in the middle of nowhere at 12’o clock in the night. I finally spent the night with a friend who lived near enough to pick me up.

Monday-bike serviced and helmet bought-3000 bucks in all. Wednesday had to send an international courier-1000 bucks. On Thursday morning received a distress call from a friend. He had fallen down and had cut his tongue and chin. Had to drive 10 km in the rain while getting to his place and yet again when coming back home. Left with a cold now ACHTOOOOOOOOO :-)

Tuesday, October 16, 2007


A poem which never fails to haunt..thought I should share it with you all.

My name is Sarah
I am but three,
My eyes are swollen
I cannot see,

I must be stupid,
I must be bad,
What else could have made
My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better,
I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my Mommy
Would still want to hug me.

I can't speak at all,
I can't do a wrong
Or else I'm locked up
All the day long.

When I awake
I'm all alone
The house is dark
My folks aren't home.

When my Mommy does come
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe I'll get just
One whipping tonight.

Don't make a sound!
I just heard a car
My daddy is back
From Charlie's Bar.

I hear him curse

My name he calls
I press myself
Against the wall

I try and hide

From his evil eyes
I'm so afraid now
I'm starting to cry.

He finds me weeping
He shouts ugly words,
He says its my fault
That he suffers at work.

He slaps me and hits me
And yells at me more,
I finally get free
And I run for the door.

He's already locked it
And I start to bawl,
He takes me and throws me
Against the hard wall.

I fall to the floor
With my bones nearly broken,
And my daddy continues
With more bad words spoken.

"I'm sorry!", I scream
But its now much too late
His face has been twisted
Into unimaginable hate.

The hurt and the pain
Again and again
Oh please God, have mercy!
Oh please let it end!

And he finally stops
And heads for the door,
While I lay there motionless
Sprawled on the floor.

My name is Sarah
And I am but three,
Tonight my daddy
Murdered me.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Adopt Kittens!

Found this lovely site while browsing today

Thursday, August 9, 2007

Realizing a childhood dream

Finally got down to cleaning up my desk. I have always struggled to maintain a clear desk ever since I had one of my own. Sis and me got one each when we were kiddos and both tables existed in a remarkably similar state of untidiness as long as they were with us. Buried under clutter, they were consigned to never see the light of day again before they were rescued every month or so when my exasperated mum took us siblings to task. They probably went to better owners when we had to get rid of them when we moved out of Raipur.
During my years at Engg college each hostelite got a desk of his own. These were handed down over the generations and the engravings in them could speak a million words if given a chance. They ranged from pearls of wisdom like 'I can't C' to anatomically impossible sketches of Shakeela. Unfortunately here too I could not make any progress in having a clean desk. If I were to construct a graph of the level of tidiness of my desk it would reveal an alarming dip during my years at college.
Now I think I have found the solution to this vexing problem.I have decided to have a 'clear desk policy'(borrowed from office lexicon).I have decided to keep my desk clear except for a few articles. The laptop gets pride of place and along with it are the laughing Buddha I picked from Singapore, a bottle of WaterBury’s Compound, my wallet, my watch and a box for miscellaneous items like the scissor and the nail cutter .I hope the status remains unchanged at least for a week;)

Friday, July 13, 2007

I find this fwd so funny :)

a girl and guy were speeding over 100 mph on a motorcycle)
> >>Girl: Slow down. Im scared.
> >>
> >>Guy: No this is fun.
> >>
> >>Girl: No its not. Please, its too scary!
> >>
> >>Guy: Then tell me you love me.
> >>
> >>Girl: Fine, I love you. Slow down!
> >>
> >>Guy: Now give me a BIG hug. (Girl hugs him)
> >>
> >>Guy: Can you take my helmet off and put it on? Its bugging me.
> >>
> >>In the paper the next day: A motorcycle had crashed into a building
> >>because
> >>of break failure. Two people were on the motorcycle, but only one
> >>survived.
> >>The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized that his breaks
> >>broke, but he didn't want to let the girl know. Instead, he had her say
> >>she
> >>loved him, felt her hug one last time, then had her wear his helmet so she
> >>would live even though it meant he would die.
> >>send this
> >>to 15 people in the next 10 minutes and the person you love the most will
> >>realise